Thursday, October 15, 2020


I've started referring affectionately to my seemingly standardized 4:30 am wake-up-and-wrestle-with-anxiety-time as "Fret Hour." It's where my mind throws every possible threat at me as though it's currently scheduled for the day's events. At the tail-end of this morning's bout, I had an epiphany: We're ALL going through hell right now, right? I mean, not all the time and some of the fall out around this is quite lovely, but it's also kind of a horror show. Climate change bringing catastrophe. The big P's of Pandemic and Politics. Economic uncertainty. My favorite restaurant shutting down because of an outbreak. On top of that, throw in some personal crisis....But this is my thought, one that might help peal off the horror mask of all of the above: 
This is the kind of shoot-show that brought us "The Last Great Generation." That generation that is currently in their 90s that seemed to be made of a glorious combo of satin and steel. Resilient, resourceful, deeply ethical, conscionable...and kind. 
You know part of how they got there? They went through HELL. Two world wars, a smatter of other wars, The Great Depression, The Dust Bowl bringing food insecurity, wide-spread, poverty that sent Americans roving all over the country in search of food and shelter (read Grapes of Wrath if you haven't.)...probably more that I'm not even thinking about. That generation has been idolized, painted as either a generation of Phoenix or winged angels. But what we're forgetting is that it wasn't a generation of people. It was an ERA of people from MANY generations. What we're calling The Last Great Generation are just the last of a particular era's representatives. 
Right now, every single one of us is being forged by these experiences. Those generation's became what they were because of their ideals and philosophies, their deepest beliefs around justice and equality. Also just desperately trying to survive, but they managed to hold onto the higher drives as well. It made me feel certain that we're going to survive this. Even if there is WORSE to come, We Are Going To Survive THIS and when we do, we, every single one of us, may very well have our own wings. Just hang in there while we grow them. #survivor #angelwings #COVID19 #love #spiritualawakening

Wednesday, August 26, 2020


The following was a writing exercise I did with my friend, Debbie Higgs, last week. The short explanation will be to call it 15 minutes of fiction. This is the first fiction I've written since college. My process was stream of conscious, with no stopping to correct spelling or punctuation (or plot!), just keep the keyboard clicking and see what comes out. This was A LOT OF FUN. I don't think Random House is going to be knocking down my door over this, but, I gotta say, not bad for no plan. Want to try it? Just set a timer and keep the pen moving the entire time. I'd love to see what you come up with. My story idea began with just seeing a flock of buzzards seconds before I got my pen moving. IF YOU DO THIS...WILL YOU PLEASE SHARE?? Here's what came of my 15 minutes. Not sure I'll ever touch it again, but still, Fun is fun, right?

exploringafrica_ Beautiful vulture trying to figure out what this strange  one eyed-creature is 📷 😉 ©Tony V . | Animals beautiful, Bird photography,  Funny animals

I was one of the vultures and I circled with my tribe, resting my great wings on air currents, round and round, dancing on air currents. I was a hunter, but not for prey. I hunted to help those who passed, return to the mother. So many use scavenger like it's something dirty, something to be ashamed of, but my brothers and sister and I don't mind. We know we are strong. We know we are wise and beautiful...and kind. 

You don't see it? 

Listen: We have figured it out. We figured out how to live without taking life. it doesn't matter if the whole of earth looks on us with repugnance. But we fly freer than any, being neither predator nor prey. We have learned to live and DO. NO. HARM. 

I've learned the essence of this life's lesson, and thank the creator for the opportunity. I release from this being, relinquishing it to its true occupier. 


Sabaya sits on her deerskin, cross-legged, eyes closed. Her eyes slowly flutter open. She took several deep, slow breaths, allowing the morning's lesson to seep and circulate throughout every cell. She felt the understanding move into her heart and sighed as she felt one more ugly lie dissolve. She smiled, feeling lighter. One more sticky, toxic spiritual barnacle that was preventing the light from truly shining through. As she took in the beauty in the essence of the vulture tribe, their indifference to the judgment of others, their joy as the wind blew through their feathers and the peace in their buzzard hearts...then it was complete. The last of the toxic energy had washed away allowing the light to stream through one more neural pathway. 

When all was complete. She closed her eyes then opened them slowly. The new light could be seen in her eyes a tiny pinprick in eyes with multitudes of light, of all different hues. Her peaceful smile another sign of the success of her strange voyage. She reached behind her neck, undoing the clasp of necklace made of hundreds of beads with constantly swirling colors and fluctuations of light. Beside her a bowl of similar jeweled beads glittered in the light of the fire.

She put her fingers in the bowl, swirling them around until her fingertips wrapped around one bead. Plucking it from the bowl, she held it to her heart, said a prayer then held it up in front of her mouth. She softly blew onto the bead and like a coal from a fire, it began to glow bright, with all of the colors like burning pastel fires that swirled and pulsed within the bead. She held the necklace in front of her. The necklace was made up of several strands, containing hundreds of these beads. She brought the bead towards the necklace and they reached towards each other, drawn like magnets. When they touched, the new bead moved into line on one of the strands. Sabaya moved her long, dark hair back as she reached the two ends of the necklace back behind her neck and clasped them. 

She kneeled and started to roll her deerskin when the sound of an explosion shook her rock dome, knocking her off her balance. She fell backwards, knocking over the bowl of beads...